Posted by: Jeannie | May 2, 2009

Mother’s Day: To Celebrate Or Not?!

Here is my situation:  I had my second home study meeting almost two weeks ago.  Earlier this week, my home finder had a meeting with her supervisor to present her report on my home study and what her recommendations are for what types of children will make the best fit with me.  My home finder has already dropped comments strongly suggesting that she’s certain this is going to happen for me.  I’m not in this just to foster parent but to hopefully adopt a foster care child.  I have mixed feelings in how to look at Mother’s Day here in another week since I’ve waited for my dream to be a Mom for at least 16 years now and believe I am right on the brink of seeing it happen, but as of this moment, do not actually have a child placed with me.  I am hoping there will be a placement by sometime this summer.

This question is addressing two different sets of people:

Can I ask how other adoptive moms in this circumstance, whether currently or at any time in the past, dealt with Mother’s Day when they were pretty close to a placement but had no guarantee yet?  I guess whether adopting through foster care or any other way doesn’t really matter.

For those friends of mine who haven’t been in this type of situation, but do have a thought on it, how do you feel it should be for those who are, or if it were you one day?

Please let me know your opinions on this.  Thanks!

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Responses

  1. I do long-term foster care so I guess that’s close enough.

    We recognize Mother’s Day as an emotionally complex day for the kids. I don’t expect them to celebrate me as their mom, although I go with it if they want to. I try to give them room for whatever feelings they may have.

    My bioboys have a custom of bringing me breakfast in bed (I’ve had some really lovely, awful breakfasts), and the other boys are usually still asleep when that happens. The husband often suggests we go out to eat, because he doesn’t want to cook for me, but we don’t normally talk about why were are going out.

    I discourage cards and gifts.

    On the other hand, my 20-somethings, previous foster kids all, almost always call me. So it is a pretty special if quiet day for me.

  2. I think mother’s day is very important but in many ways. when I was pregnant with my first daughter, I celebrated being a mom. even though she wasn’t born yet in my heart I was a mom already. now I have 2 girls. Recently I got a call from a good friend of mine her sister had a baby who was about 2 weks old and her sister was not doing well and had to be hosptalized and the father of her nephew had a list of problems himself. she wondered if I would take her nephew. my friend has 3 boys 3yrs and under and knew it would be too much for her. so i agreed and less than 10 hrs later a social worker was at my house drpping of a nearly starved 2week old boy. We have had Si with us for almost 2 months, and as far as I’m concerned this year I’m celebrating mother’s day with my 3 kids. he may not be able to stay with us for ever but as long as he is here , he is our son. the social workers seem to think his mom and dad will be unwilling to do what they need to do to get him back. so i guess we are doing this process backwards we have a baby now we have to work on getting our foster licence. So regardless when your kids arrive or how long they stay Happy mother’s day early from one mom to another!


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