Posted by: Jeannie | June 20, 2009

Curiosity Issue

There were two things I wondered about when I first began this whole foster adopt journey:

1.  Which is easier, conceiving a child, carrying it through term, and giving birth OR adopting a child through the foster care system?

and

2.  Which one takes longer, conceivement through birthing OR first contact inquiry through finalization (or, I guess to make it more fair since there has to be a minimum of a six-month trial adoption period, placement of the child)?

Setting all emotions aside, which is impossible, so far, having a child the “natural way” is definitely winning.  My “count-up” has me at 7 months and 2 weeks since making my first inquiry into all this and I’m still not completely finished with the home study yet.  I’m starting to suspect a person could make it through a full-term pregnancy before I ever get my placement.


Responses

  1. Hmmm… good question. Time span, foster/adopt takes a lot longer. We received our first placement 2 weeks after our homestudy was approved and two months later, they were told to transition back to bio-mom by the court (which in the long run didn’t work out.) 3 days later, we were placed with our two youngest kids. 18 months later, their big brother moved in and almost a year later, we finalized the adoption. So, with 8 months to do training and our homestudy, we spent about 3 years fostering to adopt. I guess it works out about the same if you figure one child a year (it should be 18 months to give your uterus time to go back to normal) and have three kids.

    If you want to talk about easy though… LOL. I had it a lot easier than my sister who had kids the old-fashioned way. Pregnancy did not go so well for her body. After being her “coach” to deliver her first son, and watching 36 hours of labor, I swore off being upset that I couldn’t conceive. I had nightmares about it for weeks! There are women who have great pregnancies and deliveries but apparently you don’t know if you’re one of those folks until you’re doing it.

    I have three kids and I don’t have stretch marks, saggy boobs, extra baby weight, torn ab muscles, stitches, hemorrhoids, or any of that other craziness. I tend to think I got kids the easy way, even if it did take forever.

  2. I feel for people who try and try to have a baby for years–talk about a hard time on your body (esp with invetro meds etc) and your heart!

    We all know someone who has tried for years with multiple misscarriages.

    What a blessing children are no matter how God brings them to us! They are difficult to have and even more difficult to raise. Thank the Lord for strength and joy!

  3. I think it’s rough either way…at least with a pregnancy you can count on it taking around 40 weeks (which is not really the 9 months they always tell you!!) So in that sense it’s easier…but let me tell you, after being constantly sick for 28 weeks with this baby, the physical toll is immense! Stretch marks, exhaustion, nausea, etc…it all adds up!!

    I think the waiting you’re having to go thru is hard emotionally though…you’re not sure what to plan! There are no set benchmarks like there are in pregnancy (trimesters, sex determination, etc.).

    Both are hard in their own way, but make sure you enjoy the journey, it will make you appreciate the end result so much more!!

    Praying for you!!


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