Posted by: Jeannie | January 13, 2010

I want off of this CRAZY roller coaster, like a week ago!

I’m not sure what to make out of this whole last five days except for being reminded of how much I really hate emotional roller coasters.  A week ago my life was boring and since last Friday it’s felt like my world’s been put in some snow globe that just keeps getting shook up

A turn of events has taken place that leaves me even more feeling like I don’t know what to make out of any of this.  Monday I called and talked again with my best friend for advice and because there were so many unknown factors involved with the damage to the car and also with what would happen if Nationwide did go ahead and take the car (if I chose that route), it seemed like there was too few answers in trying to make a tough decision.  It seemed no matter which route I went, I’d still end up wondering if I’d made the right decision with no real way to ever know the answer.  It didn’t help any that the car was well over two hours away from me (at my parents) where I couldn’t easily get another look at it or that I couldn’t seem to get any definite answers from my parents as to getting the car looked at by a mechanic.

Nationwide called and I went ahead and told them to go ahead and take the car.  The next day, yesterday, I made a second attempt to make the doctor appointment and was tensed up the entire 2 1/2 hours traveling up to it.  I don’t think I’ve been that afraid of driving since I was first beginning to learn and it aggravated the soreness even more than it already still was.

Because of the accident, I ended up getting close to the equivalent of a complete physical.  Because of how hard my back still is, the doctor gave me a prescription for a muscle relaxer to try to force my back to start loosening back up.  Because of needing an average of about an extra strength Tylenol an hour, a narcotic strength pain med was prescribed and a med for muscle spasms was also prescribed because of the spasms that have started up running between the left side of my neck down into my left shoulder.

My feet and hands have been having problems as well (that have had absolutely nothing to do with the accident) for several weeks now; I can’t remember when I haven’t had a struggle with them staying cold, but towards the end of December severe pain and weird discolorations (bruise-like spots that would appear and disappear and hands and feet feeling like they’d been smashed by cinder blocks, pain so severe I couldn’t fight back tears) got added to the equation.  I was diagnosed with yet another medical problem yesterday: Raynaud’s Phenomenom, basically a disease that is a vasospastic disorder (causing spasms and narrowing of the blood vessels) causing discoloration, pain, and sometimes swelling in the fingers, toes, and occasionally other extremities, and attacks are caused by cold and stress.  So now, I get another disease to learn about and deal with and another daily medication to add to the 8 others I have to take (between my heart and rheumatoid arthritis).  Hopefully, being able to know finally what has been going on and being able to treat it will help in controlling the pain from it at least.

Coming back from the doctor’s office, I decided to swing by my parents and received a surprise.  My parents and a friend of theirs who is a licensed mechanic had done a good bit of work on my car trying to get it back to working condition.  The front driver-side tire that had been nearly ripped completely off the rim had been replaced with a brand new one and body work had been done to minimize the bashing the car took when it rolled onto the driver’s side after going off the edge of the road.  The manifold is still leaking and needs some work done and the most expensive repair will have to be done in a shop setting – the entire exhaust system will have to be replaced from where the accident caused the bulk of it to be ripped loose from under the car and mangled it up.

Nationwide had decided the car would automatically be listed as totaled for the sole reason of the age of the car, regardless of what it would actually cost to fix it.  Today I’m getting to call them back and tell them it’s being put in a shop for repairs and that they are NOT to attempt to remove it.  Not sure whether to expect a rough time from them over it or not.  When I went in to speak with one of them in their local office on Monday; I was told that Nationwide has a policy of not insuring vehicles that are 15 years old or older.  When I pointed out that mine was already a couple years past that already and they had been taking my money for full coverage on it every month for years now without ever telling me about that part of their policy, I was told the only exception is if the vehicle is insured while it’s still younger than 15 years.  Oh, the things they choose to “conveniently” leave out for their own little benefits.

Because of my shoulders being aggravated by the accident, my family doctor also highly recommended setting up an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon just to be on the safe side and make absolutely certain that nothing serious has somehow been re-injured with the surgical work that was done years ago; that appointment’s scheduled for January 21st.

There have been so many ups and downs since last Friday that it’s felt exhausting and waking up 3 to 4 times a night from pain hasn’t been helping that any.  Wondering if maybe I should stop trying to figure God out so much.


  1. I know when it seems there isn’t more we can take…more seems to be piled on. Take a deep breath and concentrate on just breathing for a little while..let your brain wander away from all these stressors for a short time and just focus on breathing. Don’t think. Just focus on counting deep breaths.
    I’ve had a not so hot week myself, and I understand the vice grip of stress..but if you choose to just breathe, you can gain control of your thoughts AFTER you’ve focused on breathing. Raynauds syndrome is something I’m familiar with, my MIL and her mother and family have it. It’s a constricting of the vessels in the extremeties…if you are on heart medication, check with your cardiologist about this new diagnosis…sometimes heart med’s can aggrivate it. You may need a change in medication.

    About your car. I agree with you that insurance co’s are the worst to deal with (as well as public school principals and teachers..ugh..wish we could afford to send our kids to a Christian school!) Make sure that they will still insure the car if it’s repaired…if they decided to total it, and you originally agreed, they will go by that. When you call them, tell them what you have written here, that your parents had a mechanic work on it, without your knowledge..for legal reasons, you need to tell them it was without your knowledge. You may just need to let the process work as far as the car is concerned. Or you CAN tell them that you changed your mind, but they may then decide to charge you for the days you have had the rental and drop your coverage anyway. I would contact your State Attorney General’s office if you get any more grief from insurance co.
    I’m sorry, Sweetie. I wish there was something else I could do for ya. I’m praying for you.
    Love ya!!! And remember…STAND FIRM, when everything else seems like it’s falling apart, STAND.

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