Posted by: Jeannie | December 17, 2010

This has been a year!

2010

Started the year with no real plans and a lot of unknowns; made the decision to lean on God and place my trust in His faithfulness for this year.

January:

Began the year still struggling with grief over the home study denial letter.

The worst winter Beckley has seen in at least the last 10 years; many times of being snowed in.

Neighbors who unfroze my car locks on New Year’s Day for me.

Friends from Africa who invited me over and gave me my first taste of African food.

Hit a patch of ice and rolled the car off the edge of the road and onto the driver’s side in a shallow ditch on January 8th.

A rental van for the entire time it took to repair the car.

My God who protected me and insurance that paid for the repairs.

Diagnosed with Reynaud’s Phenomenon

Getting to spend time with my best friend, Karen, and her family.

Left wrist was casted to immobilize it for six weeks.

February:

Made the decision to stop holding certain people back at arm’s-length in my life and work at trusting others more; an issue stemming off of past abuse.

More times of being snowed in.

Neighbors who shoveled my car out so I could drive it.

Strangers who pushed my car off of a huge patch of iced-over parking lot.

The new apartment finally passed HUD inspection.

Celebration of life and my 2nd spiritual birthday.

More effort made in trying to trust God more and attempting to willingly let Him have control in my life instead of fighting Him so much.

Bought two raspberry bushes.

Dear friends loaning me a shovel for breaking up ice, clearing the steps and walkway, and digging out the car for the rest of the winter.

Real problems with loss of appetite.

School (and work) starting back up again after almost two solid weeks of snow days.

Being called a liar and a lesbian by certain family members for speaking up about the sexual abuse from my brother.

Received the original date for the foster-adopt grievance hearing; started preparing for it.

March:

Agreed to start on an anti-depressant for problems I’d been dealing with for months at that point.

Began counseling for complex post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and suicidal ideations stemming off of four years of sexual abuse and more than 30 years of physical, verbal, and emotional abuse.

Lots and lots and lots of “kid time”.

Judge came down sick and foster-adopt grievance hearing is having to be rescheduled.

God’s providence in replacing dry-rotted tires on the car and a faulty brake pad still covered under warranty.

A friend who gave me several daffodil bulbs.

April:

Foster-adopt grievance hearing rescheduled for April 22nd; made the very difficult decision in letting the judge know that I am not at a place emotionally at the moment to be able to properly care for a child, agreed that there is a need to get worked through on things dealing with my own past abuse before caring for another abused child.

My car, Gran’pa, was totaled on April 15th, after an 18-year-old was waved through a gap in stopped traffic and directly in front of my path; thus began a solid month of dependence upon God and friends, an introduction to lawyers, and a lot of problems with my left knee.

More time with Karen and her family as they came in for another visit.

Sang in my 1st Easter Cantata.

May:

Received a referral for a hand surgeon in Huntington for May 10th.  Still had no transportation of my own and got to see God really do some providence in a way that had to only of been Him!

Difficult counseling.

Doctor appointments in regards to my injured knee (from the accident).

Began the Social Security Review process.

Scheduled for surgery for May 25th; both a wrist replacement and carpal tunnel release.

Many, many friends who came together to help me in the weeks following my surgeries; my God who kept me from feeling alone like I had feared I would be.

The beginning of six more weeks in a cast.

A drive-by shooting May 13th; nine bullets shot at our apartment building, two of which are lodged in the wall around my living room window.  Many nights of little sleep and several nightmares.

May 29th brought S’moresie home to live with me; a cat that had been living on the bike trail for at least the last year.  A coon tried to challenge her to the cat food I’d brought and I decided I couldn’t leave her there any longer.

Provided with a car of my own a week before my surgeries.

June:

Learned my father is dying from stage 4 kidney failure.

Began working on memories in counseling.

Mom and Dad Hess coming up from Florida to spend Father’s Day weekend with me.

Got the garden tilled and planted on May 11th; green beans, banana peppers, cherry tomatoes, cantaloupe, and watermelon.

Food stamp review on June 28th, nearly doubled the amount of money for groceries!

Made major improvement on daily devotions; think I only missed four days out of the entire month.

July:

Made new friends with Bill and Tina Tiller, and their two sons, while they were vacationing up here; new friends introduced through my mom and dad Hess in Florida.

Counseling the most difficult yet; nightmares starting up severely about the abuse.

Being specially treated by friends with lunch at CiCi’s and rounds of miniature golf on July 4th.

Struggled extremely hard with wanting to quit on the counseling.  Memory work made the depression a lot worse.

Started physical therapy for both my knee injury (from April’s car accident) and my wrist (for the carpal tunnel and wrist joint replacement surgeries).

Counseling switched from focusing on memory work to making myself more vulnerable and open with others.

Worked with 3rd and 4th graders during a week of VBS!

Beginning realizations that God really does love me!

Got to bring my puppy, half Chihuahua and half Beagle, home at 6 weeks old, on July 29th!  Her name is Katie!

August:

A lot of time spent in the garden and playing with Katie!

More and more kid-time with four of my favorites!

The beginnings of healing in the relationship with my dad.

Getting to see God working more and more in my life!

Back driver side of new car was bashed in by an intoxicated driver who insisted he never saw the car; insurance money allowed me to get several repairs done on the car, including my first ever set of completely brand new tires.

September:

Began working my 16th year of Awanas; working with the Sparkies (K-2nd graders) this year!

Three of six day old tires were slashed; began parking the car at my church to keep it safe.

Learned I’ve been found to still be approved for disability (not a surprise for me).

Got to attend the Beth Moore Simulcast!

Learned I’ve been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder on top of the Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder.

Began re-considering adoption.

October:

My braces finally came off after having them on for the last 2 ½ years!

Had to accept the fact that insurance issues are forcing me to change counselors if I’m going to continue with therapy; had to say good-bie to my counselor, Katie.  Struggled hard with sadness and fears with “starting over.”

Was willing to try an attempt with group counseling; was a major mistake, back to searching for a new counselor that does individual therapy.

Learned rheumatoid arthritis has finally made it’s way into my shoulders.

Asked, and gave, my narcotic-strength pain meds to some close trusted friends to hold and began working through withdraw symptoms.

Trick-or-Treating with the niece and nephews!

November:

Got to attend regional’s and state’s girls volleyball; GBCS won state runner-up!

Started working on the manuscript for my very first book, Phoenix Rising!

Got auburn highlights in my hair; first time ever trying out highlights!

December:

Finding myself a lot happier and content lately!

Dancing for the first time in months!

Found one solitary, extremely ripe cherry tomato growing in the old garden, surrounded by snow; realizing God surprises us when we least expect it and does what we would of thought was impossible!

Celebrated my 37th birthday with both of my best friends along with some very special friends who came a long way just for my special day!

Began counseling with a new counselor on the 7th.

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